As a dating coach, I spend a lot of time talking to single lesbians about using lesbian dating sites as one important way to meet women.
Here is one big reason why you should be doing online dating…
Statistics tell us that straight couples using internet dating take only 18 months to get to a committed relationship versus couples that meet face to face taking up to 42 months to get to a committed relationship.
What that actually means is that singles who don’t use online dating sties spend a lot of time single and dating before finding that one amazing person and you can cut that time by years if you go online.
So what’s the data on lesbians? I don’t know. We are awfully hard to find and even harder to survey sometimes. But here’s what I do know… I meet lesbians all over the country who haven’t dated in years because they won’t try something new… like lesbian dating sites.
Online dating started in 1964 with a few male college students who thought it would be a great way to meet women. It’s evolved since then to using sophisticated algorithms and personality assessments that help make matches for you.
Let’s look at some of the big players…
OkCupid.com, Match.com and CompatiblePartners.net are three well-known sites that use either algorithms or an assessment to help you find matches.
I’ve spent time on all of these sites learning how they function and each one has its good and not so good features.
OkCupid is free and has an upgrade feature that allows you to eliminate ads and do other spy like things if you pay. Match and Compatible Partners are both pay to play sites.
OkCupid uses thousands of questions, many added by users, along with tracking your every movement to determine your matches. Match.com also uses algorithms that learn about the kind of women you like and then attempts to show you more of this kind of woman.
Compatible Partners uses the same assessment that it’s parent site eHarmony uses to find your matches. This assessment is a forced choice process which means sometimes you’re forced to chose between two things you don’t like or two things that you love. This forced choice assessment is the highest level of assessment and produces extremely accurate results when enough questions are used. And yes, Compatible Partners uses enough questions to get you there. It then gives you matches from their lesbian database of members.
Now to be clear, Compatible Partners gives you matches based on your assessment results. It’s up to you to determine if a woman is right for you and if there is that all important sexual attraction.
Another great feature of Compatible Partners is that they give you a guided question and answer process for when you want to contact a match. So if you’re the kind of woman who never knows what to write to someone you end up overwhelmed and just walk away without making contacts; this guided question approach makes it simple to connect.
You start by picking 5 of their already written questions that have responses already set up and you send it to the lesbian of your choice! Simple! Easy! Stress reducing too.
Your match responds with 5 of her own questions and then you can move onto the level two questions which are your deal breakers. You get to send along 10 “must haves” and 10 “can’t stands” as your next step.
This is such a clearly simple process and easy to use. Now you’ve gotten some really important information and you can now decide if you want to email directly and take things to the next level or go back to another set of 5 guided questions and draw this process out a bit longer before emailing directly.
Match and OkCupid give you the chance to do winks and likes of photos but when it comes to connecting by email, you are on your own and this is where many women stumble.
Online dating is not optional these days, especially as you get older. It is the best place to find women who are 50+ years old. But it’s also a great place to connect with younger women.
So what do you need? More support and structure? You might like CompatiblePartners.net best. Less structure and more ability to search for your own matches? Then Match.com and OkCupid.com could be good for you.
